Be a Uniter, not a Divider
We are at a time in the history of the world when we need leaders who are uniters, not dividers.
DIVIDER EXAMPLE: The toxic American presidential campaign of 2016. This was an example of extreme narcissism by both candidates and voters. Yet, as leaders, we must not be tempted to point fingers at others and dividing people by playing the “Blame Game.”
UNITER EXAMPLE: Nelson Mandela. No one is perfect, but Mandela could have easily chosen to be a divider. Yet he consciously and intentionally chose to unite people.
Mandela, similar to President Ronald Reagan, achieved a lot with a smile and finding areas of commonality, yet during their leadership peaks there were multitudes of dividers working against them.
I would like to be that type of leader, a uniter. Wouldn't you?
Get real. Accept the fact that you are a role model. This occurs intentionally or unintentionally, no matter what you job title is.
Good role models, or bad role models. You have to make a conscious choice. Otherwise you fall into the trap of being an example of more bad habits than you would prefer.
As we approach 2017, I implore you to develop new habits to improve your ability to demonstrate more integrity in all that you do, not just when you feel like it.
Choose to be a uniter, not a divider.
How can you strengthen your best habits or learn new ones to be more of a uniter?
One proven method: Leaders who change the world around them for good take daily or weekly Sanctuary time to confirm they are still on course to achieve their life's purpose. This can be 10 to 15 minutes once a week.
Sanctuary can be a longer weekly retreat with meditation, prayer, and assessment of how well you are living out your dreams.
Brief daily reflection is helpful.
Some leaders pause for 2 minutes every couple of hours as a quick self-check.
Without considering the road you have traveled, how can you expect to most efficiently, effectively, and safely get to your destination?
What type of role model are you?
If you daily or weekly assess what you are sensing in your heart, the emotions you feel, the words you speak, and the actions you take, then you are wise. Most likely you are at peace, are productive, humble, and fulfilled in your work.
Is that the way you feel?
Self-accountability comes before holding others accountable.
WHAT ABOUT OTHERS?
The wisest man who ever lived advised that we must first improve ourselves before we focus significant effort to judge others.
I encourage you to develop the leadership habit and discipline of a Reality Check in weekly Sanctuary. This is for your growth and personal fulfillment. Here is a simple process to pilot Sanctuary in your professional and/or personal life:
#1 - Choose a day and time where you can be alone without distractions weekly for your in-depth Sanctuary time. No email, instant messaging, texting, or phone interruptions.
#2 - Commit to a period of weekly Sanctuary time that is realistic. You may want to start with as little as 10-15 minutes. Or maybe 30-60 minutes. The important thing is to be realistic and consistent. You are developing a new habit.
#3 - Define your agenda. In general, you are focusing on…
- How well did I complete my key priorities for last week?
- What issues or questions do I need to resolve?
- What do I need to get done this week to stay on track to achieve my annual goals?
- When do I need to schedule time in my calendar to achieve this week's priorities?
#4 - I suggest defining a Weekly W.I.N. (What's Important Now) in your Sanctuary time:
- 1-3 tasks to complete weekly that relate to achieving your annual goals.
- Schedule time in your calendar Monday-Wednesday to complete your Weekly WIN. This way if you have to "fight a fire," then you can catch up on Thursday or Friday and still be on track.
- Review your WIN at the start of each work day for self-accountability.
- Your Weekly WIN is NOT a to-do list that lives on forever.
Develop this habit, and then teach it to your team. Require them to meet with you weekly. Your meeting agenda can be as simple as #3 above.
WHAT ABOUT THE DIVIDERS?
In brief, they are all around us and always will be. The primary problem is that people are instinctively selfish.
Selfishness increases due to the media, social media, manipulation by others, addictions, and how the pains of our life experience affect our reactive responses.
Dictionary.com defines a narcissist as “a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.”
You can choose to be different. Start with a decision to be your best.
