Uniters Wash Their Hands
Let me paraphrase an old teaching. Then I can apply it specifically to leadership:
Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...
The phrase, “wash your hands,” jumped off the page at me late last week. I had to pause and let it sink in.
When faced with “dirty hands” – a problem - “Bad Bosses” too often procrastinate, avoid the issue, blame someone else, and/or take shortcuts.
UNITERS must make a different choice, and develop better habits.
Everyone can be a leader who seeks to UNITE people. However, this requires us to “wash our hands” by ethically engaging our team to resolve problems in ways that make the issue unlikely to return.
Working with and/or directing others to resolve problems is more short-term work, but less long-term pain. My theme this month is being a UNITER, not a Divider.
Which type of person, or leader, are you? The first takes intentional effort. The latter comes naturally to everyone in varying degrees.
Washing hands is not my problem. (My Dad was a cleanliness freak and a great guy.) Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...
The next command, however, is deeper. Purify your heart is an ongoing issue because I am not flawless. My thoughts are not always the best. I make mistakes.
I am struck by the need to first “purify” our hearts rather than judge others. When we do not hold ourselves accountable first, then we typically go straight to double standards. That is not a UNITER discipline.
For instance, remember that person who was… Racing up the freeway and following your car so close that they were almost in your back seat? Why was that jerk in such a hurry? It was stressful and made you mad.
BUT, what about your behavior days before that when you were in a hurry driving?
Remember that person who was… late delivering on their commitment to get you something? That really messes you up! How could they do that? Don’t they have any integrity?
BUT, what about the deadline you missed recently, asked for an extension, and got it? (Was that from the same person?)
Remember that boss, other employee, peer who is not treating you the way you want. It can hurt your feelings, or maybe even make you mad. Why do they have to be such a jerk? Or so lazy? Or whatever…?
BUT, what about when your tone of voice recently was sharp, condescending, or otherwise unpleasant? When did you last say something negative about someone else in your workplace, and/or fail to compliment someone?
Your lack of appreciation triggered natural reciprocity. This is the natural tendency to match someone else’s behavior. (We teach this in our Workplace Drama course of Dave’s Charm School.)
This is just three examples. I bet you have more.
Wash your hands, you fools, and purify your hearts, you leaders with double standards...
What could this ancient exhortation mean for leaders today? I suggest one application is the following: Commit to be a humble person of integrity who is a consistent role model for your company values and standards. This is a UNITER.
Here are 7 steps to “wash your hands:”
1. Submit
When making decisions, discern if the true sense of your heart, emotions you feel, the words you will speak, and the actions you will take, fully demonstrate your company values and standards. Submit your desires to, and unite others through the higher purpose of your organization.
2. Resist
Know the triggers to your bad habits. Do not be tempted into emotion or shortcuts. Recognize when something motivates you to react in a selfish way. Stop. Breathe. Respond by choosing a healthier path. Resist the reaction. Choose the higher ground. Unite by intentionally responding, not instinctively reacting.
3. Accept
Take full responsibility for your portion of mistakes. (Don't accept blame on behalf of others.) Work to develop new, more powerful habits to avoid those mistakes in the future. Accept your part in the problem, at times without requiring others to do the same. Unite by reconciling with a positive spirit.
4. Apologize
Don't be afraid to express sincere sorrow for your mistakes. Remove the burden of guilt from your heart... and your legacy. Apologize respectfully so you can move forward with greater freedom. Unite by building bridges.
5. Be humble
Avoid double standards. Hold yourself accountable to your company values and standards first. Do it even when others are not. Consider the life wounds of the other party, the facts, and the solution more than the comparatively brief impact of the problem or the pain of their disrespect. Unite with humility.
6. Encourage
Enforce and/or encourage accountability with employees / coworkers. Do this by reminding people of your company values, standards, and the expectations of others. Remind yourself and others that, "This is the way we behave in our family." Ask questions and be open to ideas with integrity. Be firm on what boundaries cannot be crossed. Unite with encouragement and your example.
7. Be Thankful
Express sincere gratitude for your blessings and what you want to encourage in others. It may be something small. Do not let a person's mistakes block their positive traits from your consideration. Unite with sincere gratitude.
Wash your hands often. It removes possible disease. It also is a visual reminder of a higher calling to cleanse ourselves of our weaknesses first, develop the strengths of others second, and always be actively uniting our people in meaningful work.
