True or Right Thing To do?
It is only February 19, but this may be the most important lesson I share with you in 2014.
This past Valentine's Day I got hit across the forehead with a 2 x 4 of wisdom. It stopped me in my tracks. Let me know if this also rocks your world.
I was meeting with Donna Kramer, "Mama Donna" to some, a friend to me. We were about to wrap-up after close to two hours of conversation at a local Starbucks. She loosely quoted something from a friend, David Williams, regarding his approach to discerning wisdom and making decisions. She simply said (not her exact words):
People often get themselves in trouble when they first try to make decisions based on what is right, rather than what is true.
The reason is the definition of "what is right" is very subjective.
WOW! The vast majority of my poor decisions were based on trying to "do what was right" rather than the facts / truth. (This is because I am a High Traditional in our Talent Assessments.)
Starting my decision-making process and staying primarily focused on sincerely trying to "do what was right" left me tempted by personal bias, emotions, and wounds.
It is sad to think how many decisions I would have made differently if I had STARTED with what is true. This would have focused me on objective data and concrete elements as I worked to resolve my problems. The END RESULT would have more consistently been "what was right."
Too often I have unfortunately started with conclusions that were based on good intent rather than reality. Ouch.
Unfortunately, there is no going back. We cannot change the past. We live in the present and we live to achieve our full potential in the future.
The good news is over the past five years I have already started on a journey to develop a new habit of making decisions based on truth FIRST. Donna's wisdom has helped me take a big step forward. Her advice gives me tremendous clarity, and I am very thankful.
What does it look like to make decisions based FIRST on trying to "do what is right?" Here are some examples:
- Hiring a great actor instead of a top performer
- Retaining an employee who is not performing well
- Not being an effective leader (too many "what if's" here)
- Staying in a relationship that is unhealthy
- Keeping a business or product line going that needs to die
If you need help to make some tough decisions because you professionally want to reach your full potential, or have your company do so, then email me. Maybe we can help.
I hope you enjoyed this insight. I am thrilled to be applying it more often in my life today.
Unfortunately the process of evaluating how you made poor decisions based on Sincerely trying to "do what is right" rather than what is true can be painful.
You may need to evaluate your past decisions confidentially with someone you trust such as a good friend, mentor, or consultant.
Separately you can also challenge your team to consider your decision-making process and many of your past decisions by the same standard.
- Meet with your team and ask them to identify the 5-10 most recent significant decisions that you have made as an organization, or they have made individually. NOTE: You can do a mix of the five most significant decisions your organization has made, and each individual shares the three most major decisions they have made.
- Explain the insight of making decisions FIRST based on what is true rather than doing "what is right."
- Candidly and without laying blame on anyone, evaluate the major organizational decisions that have been made. Consider the alternatives that you would make today if your team had better considered what was true FIRST, and "what was right" later.
- Again, not with a focus on blaming people for mistakes, explain each of your three major decisions that you have made recently and how those conclusions might have been different if you had focused FIRST on what is true.
- Now that you have set the example, encourage each member of your team to consider their recent major decisions and their approach.
STAY ENCOURAGING! Have fun. Learn. And move on.
