3 Insights from my friends in Sisters, Oregon
Our family moved back to Novato, California, just north of San Francisco on July 30th. We had tried living in Sisters, Oregon since mid-January. It turned out we were too optimistic about our ability to see our three grown children and five grandchildren from there. So... we came back rather quickly!
I miss three things about Sisters, although there are other aspects I enjoyed:
- Space - There are no traffic lights, and only one (new) roundabout in Sisters. The biggest road is in nearby Bend, and it is only two lanes each way. Traffic issues are rare, and mainly due to summer events in Sisters. There are workarounds.
- Sisters Coffee - In my opinion, Sisters Coffee is the most wonderful coffee shop on earth. It is a great meeting place for all, and can compete with any Starbucks for customer traffic, but has better coffee and treats. The fresh-cooked, Rainshadow Country Breakfast is superb, and only outclassed by the attentive, sincerely smiling, warm people who serve you.
- People - Most importantly, I made four friends in Sisters whom I hope to have for a lifetime - Jerry, Mark, Pete, and Kevin. (I had more time with Jerry and Mark.)
My friends shared their wisdom with me. I got dozens of ideas. I always felt like they gave me much more than I gave them. Some advice or sharing of stories was personal, and many combined how to make better personal and business decisions.
Let me share three key insights in hopes they spark a new perspective or habit in you.
Clarity
I asked each of these guys how to hear God more clearly in my prayers and throughout each day. Bill Hybels calls these voices or nudges, "promptings." None of them used that term, but each shared what they had learned in their journey.
Jerry shared a perspective that really stuck with me: At any given time we have three voices in our head trying to tell us what to do. The trick is discerning which is which BEFORE we take action. Here is how to recognize each of them:
The Devil
The message is evil in any way. Rebuke and remind him that he has no authority in my life.
Yourself
If selfish, then repent (humble myself before God and admit my mistake) and move away.
Holy Spirit
If the thoughts are full of grace and truth, then it's God. Whatever that voice says, you listen and obey as fast as you can.
Decisions
Once you have discerned what to do, then what? It seems easy, but too often many of us procrastinate or get distracted by the next shiny object that flutters across our path.
Pete advised, "When you receive your answer you have to act on it." He referenced an ancient text from James (1:5-6) which encourages you to ask, believe the answer, and not doubt.
The text touched me so much that I extended it to start at verse 2 and continue through the first part of verse 6. I review this regularly. Interestingly, I shared James' advice with someone last week.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (NIV)
I added the boldface to share part of the reason this teaching appeals to me. We all make mistakes. Many of us have difficulty letting go of past mistakes due to our high standards. I love the reminder that God does not find fault, but gives generously. Kevin Finkbiner of New Life Petaluma also encouraged me with this teaching last year.
There is a lot more there too.
(1) We will always face trials, not we might have difficulties
(2) When we push through trials we develop the skill of perseverance (or I prefer the word, "tenacity")
(3) Challenges might not be fun, but they are necessary for growth
(4) Eventually we may not have everything, but we can lack nothing important
(5) We can ask God for wisdom
(6) God answers prayer when we believe and not doubt, and lastly
(7) Doubts are the essence of an un-meaningful life
We must believe in something to thrive in this life.
Jerry reinforced this in another conversation when he shared that nothing good in life comes without pressure.
However, too much pressure is a pressure cooker, or broaster oven. A pressure cooker or broaster can create great food, but if you leave the food in too long it explodes.
This is a good analogy about procrastinating too long after getting an answer...
Relationships
Mark shared and demonstrated how he builds and sustains relationships. Do you do any of these regularly?
(a) Mark meets with his lovely wife, Sheila, most work afternoons about 4:00 p.m. at their home to have freshly ground Sisters Coffee, sit at opposite ends of a window seat, and share what happened in their day. They have three girls, and the last one is about to go off to college. This is a bit easier as empty nesters, but still, it all comes down to our priorities... doesn't it?
(b) Mark and I met at Sisters Coffee, 8:00 a.m., every Tuesday that we were both in town. No agenda except to deepen our friendship... even after Mark learned in March that we would not be staying in Sisters.
(c) Someone else told the story of how Mark passed a guy on the road near his mother's home who was living on public land in a trailer last winter. Something about the guy struck him as kind of odd.
The following day Mark gave him a ride and learned his story. He then returned with Judah and Bob, buddies from Westside Sisters, to use his mother's John Deere tractor and snow shovels to find the guy's vehicle, dig him out, and fix him up with some necessary supplies.
There was another time during a Giving Tree event before Christmas 2016 when Sheila, the girls, and Mark came across a homeless woman living in her small RV under a pile of snow and did the same for her. Dug her out, started her vehicle, charged her batteries, trained her on how to use the motorhome, got her some clothes, and took her to his mom's where she could shower and stay a few days.
PAUSE and think about that.
What would America, and this world be like if we all shared Mark's empathy and willingness to serve others?
Mark is not the only person who does this type of thing, and he would not boast about it. However, these two stories are good reminders that most of us could better notice people in our community who have sincere needs and give them an occasional hand up.
Mark and Pete helped us pack our truck to move back to California. It brings tears to my eyes. Jerry, Mark and two other guys helped us unload on one of the coldest days of this past winter - January 13. (I feel badly that I can't remember the other two guys' names.)
Jerry stayed outside the entire time in sub-freezing weather, unloading a fully packed 26' truck, 20' truck, a Suburban, and Toyota Sienna van. He prayed over every package as Mark, myself, Jeff our son, Ted his friend, and two friends of Jerry's worked inside or outside to get through it all. I sure miss those guys...
(d) Last example of how Mark lives his life: Mark believes in memories. He and his family enjoy Lake Shasta for a week each summer with one or more other families. They regularly do other trips together.
My favorite activity of Mark's: He, his buddy Todd, and son-in-law did a "trifecta" in early June - In the morning they snow skied on Mount Bachelor; midday they played 9 holes of golf; and to close out the afternoon, they went waterskiing on the Prineville Reservoir.
Mark reminded me that to have friends and be close to your spouse, you have to invest time with them doing fun and/or meaningful things.
Don't let the busyness of life crowd out the joy of life.
I got to know my last Sisters' friend, Kevin, just before leaving. However, I hope he joins my buddy list for years to come. He's a special guy too.
3 Voices... 3 tips for today.
I hope something here gave you inspiration to try something different in your personal and/or professional lives prior to year-end.
Be comfortable with positive change and uncomfortable with drudgery.
Choose joy, because you can.
