This is a follow-up to last week's email about stopping DRAMA in your workplace. Here is a recent client example:
A team of people are working together. Each has different skills, experience, and value they bring to the team. They work well together, but the relationships are new and so there are still things to work out for maximum productivity.
One member of the group does something that bothers more than one other person in the group to the point that they complain about it to another member in the group.
Did you catch the problem?
They complained about the person's behavior to someone else, not the person who bothered them.
This is totally unnecessary DRAMA. Unproductive... I could say more, but it might offend people.
Here is my suggestion:
1. Golden. Although our work seems like "adult daycare" at times, please remember The Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. If someone has a problem with you, do you want them the gossip about it to someone else, or tell you directly "to your face." (It might be by phone, in-person... but directly.)
2. Talk. When you have a problem with someone, schedule time to talk with them rather than send a flaming email. Email can be misunderstood and offensive. Just pick up the phone, or use an email/text to schedule time to talk.
3. Question. Rather than start with a statement, try to start with a question. For instance, "Did I hear you right that you ______?" or "Did I give you the impression that I _____?" You may be wrong, so it is best to be respectful and start with a question rather than a judgment. It may just be a simple misunderstanding. Leave the drama (emotions, gossip...) out of it. Do not let your negativity fester. Just kindly, respectfully start a discussion to resolve it.
4. "I/me". After you get past confirming some facts with questions, try to explain your feelings in "I" or "me" statements rather than "you" accusations. For instance, "When you did _____, it made me feel like ____."
5. Zip It. Once you have resolved the situation, do not discuss it with others in a negative way. That is gossiping again. Zip your lips shut about the matter.
I encourage you to develop this communication style, or something like it, as a new habit to replace gossip. It saves you time, stress, and helps you become a more effective leader. |